a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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