do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
