Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's always time for handjobs
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
