I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize