I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
