I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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