I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
