I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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