1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
