singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
