It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
