smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
