She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize