For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
