lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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