All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it penis luge time yet?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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