sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize