Screwed.edu
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Randomize
