I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
