seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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