I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
