i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize