worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
