He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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