what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
