after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
