My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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