I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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