that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize