Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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