This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
