i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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