my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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