Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
