She even gives head with a lisp.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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