When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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