I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
