If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
