I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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