You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
