Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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