we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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