so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize