he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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