and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
