i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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