I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
