Can i not drive my cunt home
farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
