Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
