3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
