Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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