i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is classic penis vs brain.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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