I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
