What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
