Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
