I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone shattered a urinal.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
