Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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