we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
