You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
