it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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