I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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