we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
