so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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