so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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