I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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