I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
