One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
