so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
