He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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