I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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