my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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